Our Little World
by Grey Skies and Sunshine
Summary: After a traumatizing childhood that Sakura must recover from, she finds solace in her team. Having been the cause of a death at the tender age of nine, Sakura must move past her damaged mental state to reach her goals. (WARNING: themes of rape, child molestation and mental disorders.) RATED T
1. Lost Childhood

Our Little World

Chapter One: Lost Childhood

Sakura felt her heart hit hard against her ribcage, her stomach felt like it was tied in knots and her veins felt like they were full of gasoline that had met with the match in her heart. Her entire body was on fire. She sank deep into the bottom of her bathtub, her arms wrapped around her body as if trying to keep her torso from falling apart. Her breaths came out in hard bursts, she tried to squeeze her eyes shut as hard as possible, as if that would make everything disappear, including her.

"Sakura? Are you in there?" She could hear her mother's sleepy voice call from the hallway. In response Sakura squeezed her eyes shut even tighter and tried to pretend she didn't hear her mother over the roar of the shower.

"Sakura?" Her mother called again, this time louder. The sound rang in her ears.

"I'm almost done!" Sakura called back, hoping her mother couldn't hear the way her voice was cracking.

Evidently, she didn't, her mother offered a hum of approval and drudged off. Sakura could hear her mother's slippers scraping the rough wooden boards of the hallway and for a second, the girl felt a glimmer of relief.

She nervously opened her eyes, forcing herself to look at her body. She was thin, her bones almost protruding from the skin, ugly, dark purple bruises brimming with yellow were spattered over her inner thighs, she tried to part her legs, wincing hard as her thighs protested, a small trickle of blood mixed with the pulsating water from the showerhead and swirled down the drain. She felt her chest tighten as she lurched forward, aggressively wiping at her eyes with her palms.

She just wanted the world to disappear.

 _Our Little World_

She didn't remember what happened- not really, just one second he asked her to sit in his lap, she didn't want to, but she did like she always had. Then his hand touched her thigh and everything went dark.

When reality sank back in, she was standing over her grandparent's kitchen sink, washing the blood from her blunt, academy kunai. Spatters of blood over her naked skin. She felt hollow, nothing but a tight heat in her chest and a soreness between her legs.

She calmly walked over to the corpse of her grandfather, his face twisted into some ugly expression. The memorial incense that had been lit hours before, for her grandmother, were covering the smell of his own filth and her vomit. She picked up her crumpled red dress and pulled it over her frail body. She didn't know what to do now.

Taking a couple steps back, she screamed.

She didn't know what else to do, so she just kept screaming.

She screamed until the elderly woman who lived next door burst inside, taking a look at the scene before her and coming to usher the small girl outside. Sakura just kept screaming, she could swear she felt her vocal chords tearing themselves to shreds. She could no longer hear her own voice, but she kept screaming.

She screamed until she could feel hard hands on her shoulders, shaking her hard. Sakura sucked in her breath and looked up to see a head full of shaggy grey hair and a charcoal eye.

Her moment of clarity brought her attention to the flood of warm goop threatening to spill up her throat, she choked for a second before leaning forward to spill the contents of her stomach, gasping desperately for breath.

The silver haired man yelled something at the elderly woman who had screamed at the sight of blood in the young girls bile, something about it just being from her throat. She could feel the man's hands roaming over her midsection and her mind snapped back to survival mode, without thinking, she kicked and bit at the man, who easily dodged her attempts at harm.

She could see something akin to suspicion froth from his single eye, before he handed the girl off to the elderly woman and went back inside, the room now flush with adults. Sakura felt hazy, like her mind was moving in and out of consciousness by the time the man had returned, offering the young girl a second glance before pulling the elderly woman aside to question her.

Moments later two chunin walked outside, one wearing a medical mask over the lower portion of his face, the other was her sensei at the academy- Iruka. He was saying something to her but her mind wouldn't allow her to focus in, when she opened her mouth she winced and her brows furrowed together, her throat hurt too bad to speak. She attempted again and a gurgling sounds erupted. She winced and clutched the column of her neck.

A voice found clarity among the fuzz that was her current mental state- the silver haired man- "Give her some time." He sighed lazily, she noticed that without touching her, he ushered her through the house, she tried to avoid looking directly at the white sheet that covered the man she had once called grandfather, now a heap on the floor.

She caught glimpse of a deep red stain forming, looking like a rose among the crumpled sheet. She remembered that sheet, it had once been used for her grandfather's bed, she knew that sheet very well. She wished now that the stains from her tears were visible, so that they would all understand. She didn't do anything wrong.

 _She didn't do anything wrong._

Fear started to rise in her chest as she was met at the front porch by her mother, in hysterical tears, her mother was still in her flak jacket and she smelled of sweat as she dropped down on her knees to crush her daughter into a desperate embrace.

For a second a deep shame crept into Sakura's throat, she was unable to return the embrace her mother desperately sought. Did she know? Tears bubbled in the corner of the pinkettes eyes. _No._ She didn't want her mom to know, she didn't want anyone to know. Her hands trembled desperately, scared to touch her mother with her soiled body. So she just stood as her mother embraced her, trembling.

She looked past her mother, into the eyes of the silver haired man, something in her begged him to do something, to help.

He looked away.

 _Our Little World_

They thought someone had broken in and tried to rob him, luckily her grandfather had been boasting about winnings from a local bingo game, but there were none to be found and no shopkeepers recalled seeing her grandfather around. They figured someone broke into his home to steal the winnings, found her grandfather, slaughtered the old man and took off with his winnings. Sakura doubted he had ever won anything at all. He was a very good liar.

She went with the story, saying she was in the bathroom and she was scared. She was okay with being the coward if it meant she wasn't the murderer, or worse. So when she appeared before the council she told her short, simple story. Praying it would work.

On some whim of a hair, it did.

Sakura walked free, with her mother devastated that she had lost her elderly father, and Sakura herself feeling freer than she had before.

Soiled, but free.

 _Our Little World_

On her tenth birthday her mom made her a pink cake with small white flowers on it. Sakura smiled big for the first time in four years, as she blew out her birthday candles. Her mother gave her a jade chopstick for her hair, Sakura knew her mother was taking late shifts guarding the gate to afford it, so she tried her best to be excited for the gift. It was beautiful.

 _Our Little World_

A week later, she met Sasuke Uchiha, she'd known of him- obviously, the whole town was on edge after what happened to his family, and he'd been in her class, but she really _met_ him the day he broke the hair pin her mother had so desperately saved up her money for.

She was leaving the library with some books she'd borrowed using her mom's library card when she saw him sitting on a dock by a nearby stream. The small pinkette tucked a stray hair behind her ear and clutched the book she had been waiting weeks for under her arm as she trudged down to the dock, a small pink blush touching her cheeks.

She really didn't have a plan, she just saw him sitting there looking sad, and wanted to go see if he was okay. She wasn't sure how girls were supposed to talk to boys, but it made her a little uncomfortable. She saw the way his shoulders hitched when the dock creaked under her weight, but he didn't turn around.

"Um, excuse me are you-"

She wasn't able to get a full sentence out by the time a blur of yellow and orange whizzed past her, her eyes widened when she saw it crash into the boy, not knowing what to do, she ran to the end of the dock, her hands grabbing for the two young boys who had crashed into the stream. It was late fall, too cold for being in the water.

She was able to grab the blonde boy but she couldn't see his face, not very well at least, though he looked familiar too. Sasuke grappled himself back up onto the dock, scathing. His expression made Sakura flinch.

Sakura leaned forward to help him up but he smacked her hand away, causing her to lose her balance, when she slipped she landed hard on the splintery surface of the dock, her hairpin falling hard onto the surface, breaking in half before it rolled into the waters of the stream.

She felt her heart break and forgot about the blonde she'd accidentally dropped into the water, that was a gift from her mother. Her face turned red with anger and she shouted to the retreating Uchiha, it came out a snooty gasp, when in reality she wanted it to come out as a swear word. She turned her head and angrily helped the groaning blonde up onto the dock.

When he flipped the unruly blonde spikes out of his face she flinched a bit. It was _that_ boy, he was always alone. She remembered him from class too, he wasn't a very good student. Her mom told her to stay away from him, but never told her why.

When the blonde noticed her staring his cheeks flushed and he gave a rebellious "What?!"

Sakura stood and shook the wood splinters off her t shirt before giving him an expression full of sadness and anger, eyes brimming slightly with those cry baby tears she'd always had. "That was a gift from my mom and you made me lose them! No wonder nobody ever wants to play with you!" She huffed out of anger and hurt before she ran off, leaving a forlorn blonde behind.

 _Our Little World_

She met Naruto Uzumaki, when he came to her on the playground, pale and sniffling with a bad cold. "Here, Sakura-Chan." He said, his voice warped due to his dripping nose.

"What?" Sakura said, looking down at his shaking hand, in his palm, sat her jade chopstick, taped sloppily back together, her brows knitted together as she picked it out of his hand, alarmed at the feverish heat coming off his body. "How did you-"

"I dove to the bottom!" He howled proudly, his thumb pressing hard into his chest as he offered a wide grin before sucking up the snot dripping from his nose. Sakura's face contorted in disgust for a moment and as if realizing that his snot was not acceptable in the presence of a lady he hurriedly turned around to viciously wipe at his face with his sleeve. She didn't know which action she found grosser.

But as she looked down at the chopstick her cheeks flushed a bit, she'd said such mean things to him and he still dove to the bottom of the stream to get this for her, the cold fall stream. She felt a prickle of tears appear once more. The blonde was alarmed at the sight of her tears and asked her if he did something wrong.

She wiped her face and apologized, thanking him for getting it back for her.

"What's so important about that thing n'yway?" He asked, scratching her head.

Sakura blushed and explained that it was a birthday gift from her mother, she noticed his eyes swimming with a sad expression when she said mother, but he seemed to perk up a bit at 'birthday'.

"Well, consider this your birthday present, Sakura-Chan!" He laughed.

"By the way, how do you know my name?" She said curiously, remembering that he had called her that earlier too.

"Oh!" He laughed nervously, "Well… I didn't really know your name and I wanted to return the thing properly, y'know? So I asked Iruka-Sensei about it during detention yesterday." He nodded proudly.

Sakura did recall that he was in detention a lot, but she assumed there wasn't any talking allowed in detention. "Yeah…" She muttered, feeling a little uncomfortable. She didn't have anything to give to him in return for getting this back for her.

He sneezed into his sleeve and the trail of mucus almost left her gagging, reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small orange handkerchief, handing it to him while simultaneously trying to avoid contact with the snotty child.

He looked very surprised, but accepted it, "Can I… I mean, is this for me to keep?" He questioned. Sakura was confused, he was acting like she'd given him a gift, or something.

"Sure?" She shrugged, confused.

He smiled at her, that cheeky grin he'd worn when he presented her lost chopstick back to her, and blew his nose.

"Wanna' see something cool?" He questioned, Sakura had to get home, but told him that if he hurried, that would be fine.

When he lead her out to the deep forest, she felt a familiar fear come over her. She shouldn't have let him take her somewhere this secluded, anything could happen to her. His overwhelmingly male presence struck chords of fear in the darkest recesses of Sakura's mind, she felt her hand wander to her kunai belt.

When said blonde turned into a hundred versions of himself, Sakura was amazed. She will never forget the day Naruto shared that with her.

 _Our Little World_

By the time Sakura was twelve, she and Naruto had become good friends. Her mother let him stay over for dinner sometimes, though she always seemed wary of him, her mother was just glad her daughter had made a friend.

Sakura had even gotten an apology out of Sasuke Uchiha, something she thought impossible after the way he had shoved her when they had met. Though they didn't speak after that, she found herself enamored by his beauty like most other girls. One girl in particular, whom she had been friends with when she was very little, they had a falling out after some argument, but now it turned into an all out feud between the pinkette and the Yamanaka.

Naruto consistently spoke ill of the Uchiha, and during times of frustration Sakura would agree, while other times she'd just ignore him or whap him over the head lightly. The blonde would tell her about his great pranks and types of ramen he had, Sakura even ate ramen at his favorite ramen stand once on his birthday, it wasn't as good as he made it sound. But she didn't really like ramen.

On her birthday, he didn't have any money so he wrote her name on the Hokage monument, they _both_ got in trouble for that one.

But the day that she was assigned to team seven, was not a happy day, even assigned on a team with her first crush and her best friend, she couldn't remember a moment of happiness that day. It was all overshadowed by a puff of chalk dust, and a single charcoal eye.

When she first saw Kakashi Hatake- her new jonin sensei- everything came rushing back. Blood, the soreness between her legs, and the sound of her hoarse screams.

The man only spared her a glance, as he had the rest of her new team, she felt a tinge of anger that he didn't seem to recognize her whatsoever. When he brought back a flood of buried emotions and rage that had rested deep in her belly for years.

After Naruto berated the man with an onslaught of insults for being over an hour late, they were lead up to the roof of the building. It was sunny, but she didn't recall feeling warmth on her skin, she felt cold despite the sweltering Konoha heat.

He asked them to share some things about themselves with him, the standard things you would ask children. Your likes, dislikes, dreams and whatnot, Naruto gave his usual spiel about all of his favorite kinds of ramen (Sakura already knew his answers.) then proceeded to give Sasuke a nasty look when referring to his dislikes, and continued on to the Hokage speech he gave everyone. Usually, Sakura would offer a small smile at his passionate speech out of consideration for her friend but her face felt numb. Everything felt numb.

Silence stretched for minutes and she soon realized that the question he had asked had gone straight over her head. Now everyone, including Sasuke, was staring intently at her. She could see a flash of confusion on Naruto's face, along with irritation on Sasuke's. A small blush touched her cheeks and she offered an uncomfortable "What?"

The silver haired man quirked an eyebrow at her, "Likes, dislikes and dreams?" He sighed. Seemingly uninterested with anything she would have to say.

Sakura's stomach knotted at the sound of his voice, but she cleared her throat and tried to sit up more in response to the unwanted attention from her teammates. "Um, I'm Sakura Haruno, I like sweets and… books, Uh, I dislike…. Well, I guess I don't really know what I dislike, and I want to be a good ninja one day." She said as she awkwardly shifted around in her seat, feeling pressured to answer quickly. She wanted to go home.

"Okay?" The silver haired man sighed in a confused manner, before turning to the last participant.

"I don't like much of anything, but I dislike a lot of things. As for dreams, I want to kill a certain man…" Sasuke trailed off, eyes smouldering in a way that made Sakura's stomach flip. She felt an uncomfortable silence haze over their little group. She felt the urge to leave.

The Jonin cleared his throat and stood, bringing a small orange book to the bridge of his covered nose and declared that they would be having a test tomorrow, and not to eat anything or they may vomit. Proclaiming that if they had failed the test they would be sent back to the academy.

On their way home, Naruto chatted happily to her about what her mom was making for dinner and how excited he was to be going on 'real ninja missions', but a deep unsettling feeling crept through her stomach.

What was a Jonin doing there… that day? Why did it have to be him? Why didn't he say anything?

 _ **Naruto Belongs To Masashi Kishimoto.**_


	2. The Bell Test

Our Little World

Chapter Two: The Bell Test

The sun was high in the sky when she made her way to the training grounds, they'd only been there once for some sort of physical exercise. Academy students weren't really allowed there unless it was for class activities because the training grounds were usually reserved for higher level training. She got a little lost but soon spotted her teammates leaning against the railings of a small red bridge that rested over the very steam they had all met for the first time at, though a different spot, it still made the knot in her chest loosen a bit as she waved to her teammates.

Naruto was front and center to greet her and complain that their Sensei probably wouldn't be on time yet again. Sasuke just kept his distance in silence as he usually did. Sakura found a slight charm in his solitary mood and felt a small touch of heat build in her pale cheeks. Naruto noticed and huffed at her but soon went back to happily babbling away. Usually they had lots of things to talk about, but Sakura's mouth felt too dry to really speak. She didn't know why she was so uncomfortable- that… all of those things happened years ago, of course her sensei didn't remember. Why would he? It was ruled a civilian murder, those didn't really matter…

"Sakura-Chan?" Naruto questioned, she looked over to see him staring at her expectantly and offered an apologetic smile, "What?" She hummed, rummaging through her thigh pack.

He sighed dramatically, "What's wrong with you? You're zoning out all the time!" He whined loudly, "I said, when we pass the bell test wanna' go get some ramen?" He said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. Sakura sighed and nodded in agreement, "But it's not a date!" She huffed jokingly, watching his expression turn to mock disappointment.

Sakura found some semblance of comfort in the silence, well, what little silence there was. Naruto would talk incessantly throughout it but having become accustomed to the background noise she really didn't mind.

Kakashi Hatake appeared an hour and a half later, the pre-teens were grueling over the hunger in their stomachs and the hot Konoha sun, the trio had sat beneath the shadiest tree on the training ground trying to find a safe haven from the impending sunburn. As the puff of smoke cleared from his sudden transmission, Naruto was the first to jump to his feet, once again berating the man with a slurry of insults and accusations, to which the older man ignored and pulled out a small pair of bells from his pocket.

"Your test will be to take these bells from me-" He began to explain when Naruto rushed him like a madman, becoming nothing more than a hyperactive blur of orange and blue. Sakura's brows knitted together as the silver haired man side stepped the Uzumaki, who crashed into the ground.

"Please wait for me to start the test, Naruto." He sighed, voice bleak with annoyed exasperation. "As I was saying, your test will be to retrieve these two bells from me." He began.

"But there's three of us?" Sakura questioned, confused, how were the three of them supposed to collect two bells? Did it count as a team victory or a singular? It couldn't possibly be his decision to split up the teams that were assigned in the academy.

"Ah. Yes, about that, only two of you will be able to receive a bell. The loser, however," He said, pointing to three large post jutting out of the earth behind them, "will be tied to a post and have to watch while the other two enjoy their lunches." He smiled cheekily through the mask that hid his identity as he held up two wrapped bento boxes. Sakura felt her stomach rumble in response, blushing at the sound.

"But, more importantly," he continued, "The student who doesn't receive a bell will be sent back to the academy."

A heavy aura of anxiety settled over the three genin, could he do that? Could he just send them back? Sakura's mind raced, she liked her teammates, she didn't want to be separated from Naruto or Sasuke. But she didn't exactly want to be on this man's team either… She halted her thoughts the best she could, she didn't want to think about _that_ right now, she had to focus.

After a very energetic argument with Naruto, Kakashi centered himself on the training ground and gave them a very simple "Go." for a starting signal. Sakura headed straight for an overgrown patch of bushes, lowering her belly to the cool earth. She saw Sasuke go the other direction and silently hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid, she eyed for Naruto.

Of course, he stayed to take their sensei on directly. Sakura's chest felt tight, what if he couldn't get a bell? What if _she_ couldn't get a bell? She wasn't concerned with Sasuke, he was stronger than anyone else in the academy. The thought of him being on a different team… well, it bothered her, the thought of him being close to another female teammate bothered her prepubescent mind a little more.

She watched a rather comedic play of Naruto's split second battle with Kakashi, though he used his multi shadow clone jutsu, it didn't even phase the older genin who hit him with a very perverse jutsu she was pretty sure he made up on the spot, involving a hard poke to a very sensitive spot on Naruto's bottom.

Sakura would've chuckled if not for the deep seated concern for her friend and his passing the test.

As Naruto trudged himself out of the nearby pond she noticed the silver haired Jonin disappeared, she felt discomfort wash over her as she suddenly forgot everything she had learned in the academy and poked her head up out of the bushes to nervously look around before scooting herself out of cover and heading farther back into the dense forestry, looking for better cover. She didn't like not knowing where he was.

As she kept close to the wide tree trunks she kept an eye out for any movement around her- a couple squirrels nearly gave her a heart attack. Her mind screamed at her that if she didn't confront him she wasn't going to get a bell. The other half of her argued that she would simply fail automatically when she didn't have a plan to confront him with.

She began noticing the forest getting deeper and darker, something strange flurried through the air, a strange smell, she knew the smell, but her mind couldn't pinpoint it. A fuzzy feeling itched at the back of her skull as it slowly crawled forward. She wondered if she had gotten enough sleep last night as she felt her footing becoming more sloppy.

She heard a branch break behind her and toppled over her own feat in the moment of delirious concern. Groaning she pushed herself forward with the palms of her hand. She dirt no longer felt cool, it felt more like… wood.

As she opened her eyes the world was no longer there… She knew where she was.

Her breaths became ragged and her mind raced into fear as she looked down at herself. She was naked, but… younger. Bruises danced among her thighs and she felt a scream bury itself in her throat, but it wouldn't leave. The smell that was now strong enough to strangle her senses was the scent of cherry incense, the kind her grandfather would use for her grandmother's memorial photo.

She could hear the sound of a cane tapping itself against the wood at the end of the hall just out of her sight. It was her grandfather's. She felt the rumble of a scream in her throat but she just couldn't let it out. She was mute.

This wasn't real, she hadn't seen this house in years, her grandfather was dead, she _made sure_ he was dead.

"Sakura, dear." She heard his voice call. Those early undertones of his deep, rumbling voice rattled in her brain. She felt everything, the numbness she had learned to protect herself with over the years melted away like snow in the Konoha sun. She sobbed violently as he appeared in the room, just at the end of the hall. That drunken smile he always wore plastered on his face.

"So beautiful." He murmured, hobbling closer to her tiny, naked form, she tried to curl herself into a tighter ball, scooting back until she could feel the wallpaper on her naked shoulders. Her body trembled so violently she couldn't take a breath to calm herself.

She felt a cold hand grab hard on her small leg, yanking her forward, she scrambled desperately, trying to pull herself away but she was too small. It wasn't working. She knew they were his hands. This was real. She remembered every callous and every single wrinkle in his palm as they traveled her body. She was too young and too scared, her mind reverted back to age six, she couldn't feel anything but fear, she couldn't do anything. She couldn't fight back as she felt his moist, sour breath fan over her face, she squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could, hoping it would be over quickly.

But it was.

She could hear a yelling from outside the double doors, as if someone in the street was calling her name. It was so fuzzy- but it sounded so real.

As her body rocked against the floor, the ridges in her spine screaming with pain as the motion forced her against the rough floorboards, she could hear the voice once more. She desperately wanted to call out to them, to beg them to come help. But how could she let someone see her like this? What would they think of her?

The voice was so close now that if not for the fact that her skull was bouncing against the wall, she would think they were right behind her, her heart called out for help. For anyone to save her, but for everyone to pretend they didn't know. She wanted help, _but she didn't want anyone to know_. She wanted to call out that he was raping her, just like she always thought she would.

But she kept silent, even as her name became clear throughout the blur of her mind.

Everything dropped, like a pin hitting the floor the world seemed to melt around her, warping into the peaks of sun through deep forestry and the feeling of warm earth under her trembling hands. Her head was resting in a warm heap. Her eyelids finally released their death grips with one another and she peeked up to see a pair of blue eyes looking down at her, mouth agape Naruto stared back at her.

She scrambled away from the male presence, unintentionally flinching at every movement he made. _Don't let him near you._ Her mind screamed, _don't let him touch you,_ a small part of her returned.

She sprang sloppily to her feet, clawing her way out of the thick bushes, not noticing the groves full of thorns that tore through her shins, not noticing the strap on one of her sandals tearing away as her sandal tried to dislodge itself, slapping heavily just beside her foot, being dragged along by the one strap that remained.

She could hear Naruto behind her, calling out for her, his voice a mesh of confusion and concern that her mind wouldn't fully register. She didn't know what she was even running from, her mind could still feel the pain between her legs and the feeling of the walls hitting her skull. She ran until she made it to the center of the clearing. Sasuke was going all out with Kakashi and she ran right in the center of it.

The Jonin tried desperately to prevent what he knew was coming, but was a second too late. The kunai lodged itself deep in her side, and with a hard gasp of breath the young girl collapsed on her side, still mid-stride she had the velocity to throw herself onto her side and slide several feet before Kakashi scooped her into his arms.

She heard him calling out things to the two other boys, but the pain in her side and the pain in her mind kept her from registering anything around her. She could feel warm wetness beginning to coat itself on her side and roll down her legs. The feeling of a man's arms around her body didn't allow her to pass out, though she could feel the fog rolling through her mind like morning mist. She knew the musky smell of the man before her too well and it reminded her of another musky scented man who had stolen everything from her.

Even today, she was soiled. And while he was gone, _he_ would never let her forget.

 _Our Little World_

Sakura sat uncomfortably on the edge of the hospital bed, her short legs swinging lightly as she stared out the window, they had patched up her side, but her mind still raced. She peeked to the silver haired Jonin beside her, who had asked what would have so recklessly caused her to run out onto the field like that.

"Your genjutsu." She muttered, a tone of rage seeping deep into her small voice.

He looked genuinely confused, "I suppose that could've been a little cruel of me. I didn't expect it to affect you so deeply, you were registered as a genjutsu type, so I assumed you would've been able to escape it yourself." He proclaimed, leaning back into his seat to cross his arms and stare expectantly.

Sakura's brows drew together, "I'm glad we failed, then. You're not fit to be a sensei." She muttered without thinking. The man stood and pulled out the little orange book he'd carried since day one, she assumed he took it everywhere now.

"That's too bad, because after the way your teammates put aside their differences to help me get you here, I would've passed the three of you." He said from the doorway, before disappearing into the crowd of oncoming nurses and doctors.

She felt slightly guilty for damning her team, but she didn't want to ever see that man again.

"If you only knew what you showed me." She whispered to herself, feeling a sob come rushing forward from her chest.

 _Our Little World_

"So you've finally found a team, I see." Sarutobi muttered, his pipe smoking between his wrinkled lips as his gaze shifted over the Jonin before him.

"What made you pass them?" The Kage muttered, shuffling through piles of office work on his desk.

"Hokage-Sama," Kakashi questioned lazily, ignoring the prior question, "Do you remember that murder that happened a couple years ago, old civilian man in his home?"

"Ah, yes. Your female student's grandfather?" He stated, not shaken by the question. Kakashi wondered if he had been expecting him to ask.

"Yes…" Kakashi trailed off, "Did they ever catch the man who committed the murder?" He questioned, his tone dripping with an unsaid question that wouldn't part his lips. He remembered the day he was leaving an unnamed female 'friend's' home to hear the emptiest scream fill the entire neighborhood. He recalled looking into the pleading eyes of a young girl who didn't seem to care that her grandfather's chest had been poked full of holes, but cared that she was touched when he examined her for wounds.

Sarutobi wheeled away from the silver haired man, the back of his chair now facing the Jonin. "No, they did not." He answered in a solid tone, inviting Kakashi to allow the question that had been itching at the back of his mind for years to surface. He peered toward the doorway, but the Hokage assured him that no one could hear what was about to be said.

"So you know that she did it?" Kakashi said in a steely voice.

Sarutobi let out a soft sigh. "I took the case on myself, filed all the paperwork and dealt with the girl directly before anyone else." He explained, as Kakashi opened his mouth to ask why he would hide such vital information from not only the Jonin but from the village. "She would not be a danger to anyone, Kakashi." He said in a hard tone.

"A few days into the investigation, we arrested a man who was found trying to abduct a young child. Apparently he had been out of village when the murder took place, because the first thing he said when taken into custody was that he knew a handful of men who had been… doing things to young girls, and he would give us a list of names in turn for a lighter sentence." The hokage continued.

Kakashi somehow knew this was coming, and he now wished he had said nothing.

"Sakura's grandfather, was on that list." Sarutobi said with a long drag from his pipe. "And during her medical exam after the incident, she refused to remove her dress so the nurse could examine her."

"So, that, is why I allowed the girl to keep her dignity. What's the difference between what she did, and what we as shinobi do?" The elder man prompted.

"I suppose you're right." Kakashi responded, his eyes wandering out the window to a small flock of crows resting in the shade of an oak tree.

He felt regret slip into the back of his mind, he couldn't imagine what he had accidentally forced him to relive. He thought a girl of her age would have seen the boy she liked beaten half to death at worst, not this.

He silently wondered if he had been handed the flock of black sheep in some twisted show of irony.

 _Our Little World_

When Sakura got home, Naruto and her mother were at the door cooing over her wound and badgering her about leaving the hospital and if she was okay, even though it was a shallow wound. Sakura tried her best to keep her calm about it, but the pounding of her head was too loud to ignore.

She said goodnight to the two, though Naruto protested, and scurried into the bathroom. The locked door brought her comfort though she was fully aware no one in the home would ever intentionally harm her. She pressed her back against the door and allowed herself to slide to her knees, trying to keep her breathing calm and her sobs silent as she tried for the hundredth time to pretend that everything was fine.

It was as hard now as it was when she was just a child.

She tugged at the hairs on the back of her head, the little strings of hairs dislodging themselves bringing her a sense of peace.

Just when the hair was starting to grow back, she felt the scars on her scalp and the similar thin patch of hair on the back of her head.

She couldn't keep doing this to herself.


	3. Sinking

Our Little World

Chapter Three: Sinking

Sakura found herself curled up on the livingroom couch, trying to read a book she'd waited weeks to check out, but the silence of the house irked her. She'd pulled too much hair in her pain fueled haze yesterday, she knew she would have a bald spot if she didn't watch herself, so she'd pulled her hair into a tight bun to hide the patch of thin hair, securing it with her old jade chopstick.

She had a deep feeling of sorrow coating her like mist since waking up, if you could call what she did sleeping. She wondered if she had sand pumping through her veins instead of blood, by the weight in her arms and legs.

Every time her sleepy eyes tried to focus in on the words on the page before her, her mind would travel elsewhere. She sighed and threw the book to the floor, groaning in agitation. Rage and sadness swirling through her, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She was glad Naruto was busy today, she didn't want to accidentally take her foul mood out on him. Though a bit of envy rested in the pit of her stomach at the thought of him being busied by something. She was left to her own devices. He didn't even ask her if she wanted to come-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, which was strange considering her mother would be out for at least another two weeks while she was on missionary leave. She uncurled herself from the red throw blanket that once shielded her legs and lazily shuffled over to the door, the wound in her side throbbing with each step.

"What?" She called to try and thwart the annoying knocking, assaulting the headache that found home in the base of her skull.

"It's your favorite sensei." A familiar voice laced with deceitful cheer called back from the other side of the door.

Sakura's brows furrowed and she pulled the door open, facing an older man with a relaxed look on his face. She crossed her arms and offered him a sour look, "I thought we had to pass your test." She recalled, wondering what made him change his mind.

He scratched the back of his head with a small sigh. "I'd like to talk to you about that…" he trailed off, peeking into the door.

The pinkette crossed her arms in distrust but kicked the door open anyway, yanking her head in motion for him to enter. As she heard the door click shut, a bit of anxiety coiled itself over her shoulders like a feline.

"I'll make some tea." She muttered, shuffling off toward the kitchen, trying to ignore his snarky comment of 'two sugars, please.'

When she returned he'd taken a seat in the shabby brown recliner that rested parallel to her worn out sofa. She placed the cups of tea on the coffee table and curled back into her former position, though finding it less comfortable than before. Of course.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't come here for the tea." She muttered, tucking her legs beneath her and resting her cheek in her palm as she stared expectantly at the older man.

He gave somewhat of an uncomfortable tug at his collar before resting back into the the time worn chair. "I wanted to talk about what happened at the bell test."

Sakura felt her stomach coil, but nodded despite herself. She doubted this was something she couldn't lie her way out of. She was confident in that, at least.

"You see, Sakura." Kakashi began, resting his hands in his lap as he maintained uncomfortable eye contact with the young girl, "If there is something that could have potentially damaged you that can be triggered through certain actions or jutsu, it's something you will have to disclose to me. As I am your sensei I will do the best that I can to keep you alive. However, I need to know that what happened during the bell test absolutely will _not_ happen again." He breathed.

Sakura felt agitation begin to grow violently in her chest, feeling slighted and embarrassed. Mostly because she felt as if he was blaming her for what happened in the past, somewhat because he had indirectly called her a hindrance and some small, nearly mute part in her brain said it was because it sounded as if he were hinting at something she knew all too well.

"Wouldn't that be _my_ problem, _my_ responsibility? I was the only one who got hurt, in case you don't remember." Sakura snapped in a blind moment of annoyance and hurt, once again.

"Are you sure about that?" He scolded, tone now hard and demanding. Sakura felt the urge to shrink back at the sound of an aggressive male voice. Kakashi noticed her stature and relaxed his stance a bit before continuing, voice softer but with steely undertones of authority. "What if Sasuke made a mistake and killed you? Would that not be another burden for him to have to carry the rest of his life? How would you feel if Naruto had flung himself in front of you to block the attack and had lost his life? Could you live with that?" He hummed to the girl, now red cheeked with soft jade eyes watering in guilt and agitation.

Letting out a soft sigh he lent forward, face directed at the young girl before him. "I didn't come here to scold you, Sakura. I came here to let you know that I can help you, discreetly even, if you wanted. Anything you say to me in private will remain that way." He said, voice softer and more understanding.

Sakura, in her flustered, teary-eyed state, felt both guilt and frustration coil in her stomach. Why couldn't her past just disappear? Why did it always have to come back up? She just wanted to live a normal life. Why wasn't she allowed to do that, what had she done to deserve a life of misery?

Her pale fingers itched violently to be placed at the back of her skull, her body ached for the feeling of the gentle sting in her scalp. But she just coiled her fists and pressed them hard to her thighs, keeping her eyes on the floor as she desperately tried to swallow back the tears that had already began forming in her eyes. She knew she was being childish, being selfish. She knew that.

"Sakura." Kakashi said softly, "You don't have to talk about it right now, you hardly know me, I'm not asking you to share such private things with me. I just need you to know that it's something we will have to work on whether you want to or not, otherwise you're putting the whole team in jeopardy."

The pinkette couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with the man before her. And as several minutes of uncomfortable silence stretched through the small room, a heavy sigh broke the silence. "I will begin genjutsu training with you soon, though it won't be pleasant, I'm sure you don't want to be the cause of a teammate's death, Sakura. It's something I hope you never have to experience." He said, his last words dropping to a low murmur, his voice laced with a tone Sakura couldn't quite understand yet.

The door shut softly and Sakura was alone, yet the aura of silence and discomfort lingered in every inch of the room and throughout her home. Yanking the red throw over her body she sobbed into her knees. Without a doubt in her mind, she would have preferred he never brought it up.

 _Our Little World_

When Sakura awoke, her eyes stung with the prior tears she'd shed, and the windows were alight with silver rays from the moon. Her twisted limbs screamed in protest as she stumbled off the couch, glad for once that her mother wasn't coming home for a while.

She didn't think she could face anyone right now.

Hobbling toward the kitchen she poured herself a glass of water and retreated into the bathroom, shuffling through the medicine cabinet as she tried to keep her tired eyes open. Finding the bottle of antidepressants behind a bottle of lotion she popped the cap off and poured a small blue pill into her palm before sighing and dropping it into her mouth, chasing it with a generous gulp of water.

"So bitter." She muttered, face twisting into a sour expression as she began to peal off her sweat stuck clothing, shivering at the feeling of the cool tial under her bare feet.

As the water started it's cool descent down her lithe frame, she curled down to the bottom of the tub, resting her face against the tiled wall as she let out a soft sigh. Her muscles ached from falling asleep in such a curled position and her mind was a cacophony of static due to stress.

 _What do I do if he finds out?_ She repeated over and over in her head. Would she be tried again? Would they lock her up in Konoha's prison and brand her a murderer? Would she be prodded by interrogators until all of her dirty secrets were spilled for everyone to know? What would Naruto think if he found out? What would Sasuke think?

Sakura's chest tightened at the thought of her teammates learning of what happened to her. She felt her eyes glass over once again as her sore tear ducts screamed in protest. She sucked the tears back the best she could and slowly rocked herself back and forth, trying to sooth the chaos that echoed throughout her mind. Would she be okay? Would she be able to talk her way out of Kakashi's impromptu training and questioning? Would she be able to just play it off as if she saw something crazy like a monster or an enemy ninja?

Her mind responded that she wouldn't be able to lie her way out of this. That at least was obvious. She couldn't trick a Jonin. She was lucky enough to be tried as innocent the first time. The best she could do would be to explain things-

NO! A small piece of her screamed in response. She didn't know if she herself was ready to say it outloud in the privacy of her own home, let alone to a stranger she would be seeing for a very long time. She didn't think she could handle it. Would she have to quit? The breaking of her fragile heart was almost audible at the thought of giving up on her dream so easily.

She wasn't prepared to lose everything again. Not now. Not ever.

 **(A/N: I know the chapter was short but I needed to get this out of the way now, before I proceeded on with Team Seven stuff, I was in a time crunch when I wrote it because honestly I'm excited to move forward with the story. So hopefully it's still an explanatory read though it's not written very well. Please follow the story to keep up with its updates.)**


	4. Trepidation Has A Face

**(A/N: I'm going to stop putting the title at the head of the page because every time I post a new chapter it's askew and I DON'T KNOW WHY, I can't stand it so I'm just going to remove it and open with the chapter instead.)**

Chapter Four: Trepidation Has a Face

As she made her way through the village streets, Sakura could already feel eyes drilling into her. Nothing could have prepared her for today, and she knew that. Looking down at the little orange sticky note in her hands, she had to grind her teeth down to keep herself from flinching. A psychiatric exam.

While she knew all genin assigned to teams had to take one, she couldn't help but feel as though it was a direct assault on her, from her not-so-favorite Jonin, Kakashi-Sensei. Bitterness welled in her gut as she trotted into the medical center, grumbling to herself as she notified the secretary of her appointment and was told to wait in the lobby until she was called back into the ward.

She complied and sat on the uncomfortable leather waiting chair closest to the door, still contemplating if it was too late to run home and pretend she slept in. However, while the thought was more than appealing, she knew too well that she would end up here regardless of how long she put it off. Stalling couldn't prepare her any more than going now would. Aside from that, her team couldn't start taking missions until she was evaluated. She knew Naruto and Sasuke had theirs done well over a week ago, with how eager they were to start training, Sakura felt a pang of guilt for delaying them until now.

She just didn't like the thought of someone poking around in her head, she had things she wanted to keep hidden. Though- she was sure her teammates did as well. Probably worse than her… she thought, grimacing at Sasuke's predicament. Naruto's wasn't that much better either. Was she being selfish to hold them back? Was it-

"Haruno Sakura?" A female voice called, drawing her out of her self-loathing thoughts.

Awkwardly standing, the pinkette called to the woman that she would be just a moment as she gathered up her messenger bag and paperwork, checking over her belongings to assure her that she had her Ninja Identification Card, birth certificate and certification of graduation from the academy. Once she was positive she had everything, she inhaled a deep breath and tried to curl her lips into what she hoped was a friendly smile as she followed the tall, dark haired woman through the ascending staircases that lead to the mental ward.

Sakura fumbled nervously with her hands as she trailed the older woman who had yet say a word to her. Sakura assumed that after years of working with battle-scarred shinobi she too would be a bit somber when meeting genin, fresh from the academy.

The walk was quiet and uncomfortable, even more so when she practically shrugged Sakura off into what seemed to be a randomized, sterile room without so much as a word. The pinkette plopped down on the nearest chair, staring at the white washed walls, nose crinkling at the heavy scent of bleach. How people could be holed up here all day without getting splitting headaches, she didn't know.

A few moments passed and Sakura was beginning to worry, irrationally of course, that they'd pulled up her file and were going to take her to the interrogation unit instead, or worse, bring a Yamanaka up to poke around her head for a little bit.

She chewed violently at the inside of her cheek, knowing full and well that she was being ridiculous. She tried to take some calming breaths as she tried to loosen her sitting position into a more comfortable one, she didn't need to look any more nervous than she already was. Lest she cause suspicion. Maybe she was a bit too paranoid.

"Why hello there, Haruno-San." A voice called from the doorway, the pinkette felt her shackles raise as her head whipped around to stare at the man, who was calmly smiling as he looked over his clipboard. A small blush touched her cheeks as she examined the man. He was tall with broad shoulders, his long blonde hair was tied at the nape of his neck in a low ponytail. His eyes were a bright green, framed by wide, circle lense glasses.

"Something wrong, Miss Haruno?" He said, arching a blonde brow at the young girl who had been shamelessly staring at him. Sakura jumped a bit at his question, swallowing the lump in her throat as she gave a nervous smile.

"Sorry, I was just expecting someone else." She muttered half-heartedly. At least some of it was true.

"Ah, I'm assuming you mean my assistant, Kara." He said with a warm smile, "Unfortunately, no, I'll be the one performing your psychiatric evaluation today." He said, pulling a rolling chair up to sit parallel from her, the meager space between them left the young girl feeling slightly warm in the face as he looking through her paperwork.

"I see you passed your physical with flying colors, that's good, Haruno-San. It also seems that you scored the highest in your class on the written exam, but ranked lowly in physical performance." He said, eyebrows knitting slightly as he looked over her file, "It also seems you suffered the loss of your grandfather when you were younger, I'm sorry you had to witness that at such a young age, Haruno-San." He nodded, Sakura wondered if he was being genuine or not, this was his job after all.

"Alright then, now that I can confirm you're in good mental state, let's check out how you're doing up here, shall we?" He smiled, patting the top of her head like an adult would a child. Sakura used all of her willpower not to flinch away from his touch, the air in the room feeling far thicker than it had before.

"Now, Haruno-San, I see that your mother is a chunin, correct?" He said, flipping nonchalantly through her file once more. Sakura offered a small nod, "Yes."

"And what of your father?"

"He passed away when I was very young, I don't really remember him. He was a Jounin, from what my mother said."

"Ah, yes. And your mother, she does a lot of out of village missions, doesn't she?"

"Yes. They pay better." Sakura said in a matter-of-fact manner. Not sure how these things had any relevance to her mental health.

"So you've gotten quite accustomed to doing things alone, I take it?"

"I mean, housework and things like that, but I have friends so I wasn't always alone or anything." She responded uncomfortably, feeling scrutinized under his friendly gaze that no longer felt very friendly.

"Your blonde teammate did mention that part." He laughed, "But seeing as you've become quite independant, do you think you'll be able to work well in a team setting, Haruno-San?"

"Of course. I've known Naruto and Sasuke-kun for a very long time." She said, taken aback by his question. She really only thought Sasuke would be the one who would have issues in a team setting, why would she be questioned for this? It wasn't like she'd ever had trouble before.

"You see, the reason I ask is because your academy teacher thought otherwise." He stated calmly, pulling a form from her file and handing it to the pinkette.

As she looked over the form, her brows knitted in confusion, did Iruka pay this much attention to her in the academy?

"Iruka seemed to think that you did poorly in group projects because you didn't get along very well with your male partner's, going as far as to refuse sparring matches. Which would explain your physical performance grade being so low. However, working alone you scored very high and were able to pass by on intellect alone." He nodded, his tone made Sakura internally cringe. She didn't remember much from then, it was all a locked away blur, she just remembers not wanting grubby hands on her-

"Haruno-San, why do you think you worked poorly with the boys in your class? Does it have something to do with your father?" He said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, Sakura felt her heart pick up the slightest pace at his proximity. Sweat began pooling in her palms as she tried desperately to keep her poker face in place.

"I mean…" She swallowed, "I guess… I just, I don't know, It's always just been me and mom, I didn't really know how to act around boys." She said, trying to put on the facade of the hurt, fatherless daughter. Hoping it would work out in her favor. By the glint she saw in his eyes, if he knew what she was doing, she didn't think he would challenge it.

"Could that be because you didn't have any positive male role models in your life, Haruno-San?" He questioned, leaning back in his chair. The friendly smile had long since disappeared. She had the feeling it was now a battle of minds, and she was in a poor position. He was trying to make her slip up, he couldn't fail her unless he had reasonable grounds. And as it stood, she'd said nothing to incriminate herself.

"Possibly." She said, dumbfounded under the mask of calm she tried to keep in place, the aura of the room had changed from awkward to dense in a matter of minutes and she couldn't hardly recognize the man before her as the man who had walked into the room with a bright smile and handsome face. He now reminded her of a predator, searching her for signs of weakness.

"Was your grandfather not a positive male role model then, Haruno-San?"

Sakura felt her chest contract against her will, a small gasp lodged itself in her throat, but she swallowed it with a small frown she plastered on in hopes of hiding her fear.

"He was very old fashioned, he didn't really interact with me much. When my mother had to go on longer missions I would really just be left to myself at his home." She answered, voice hard with something even she couldn't recognize. She wondered if it was convincing, she wondered if she could even dream of intimidating the man before her like he was doing to her. She wondered if he would view this as a challenge.

"I see." He sighed, resting his cheek in his palm, a small smile that was anything but friendly stretched across his lips. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment before he straightened himself. The heavy aura throughout the room seemed to drop, and she was left baffled as he continued on with less intrusive questions.

The rest of the examination was standard to say the least, though Sakura's sense of anxiety seemed to grow with every passing moment as her fingers itched to dig into the arms of the chair she sat in. It felt more grueling than anything to her, however, a voice at the back of her head nagged that there wasn't the slightest possibility that the prior conversation wouldn't come back to haunt her. She knew better than most that things had a funny way of coming full circle and biting back.

As she stood to gather her things her heart raced inside her chest, she couldn't help but wonder how this would go for her, would she fail the examination? She gave him no grounds to fail her, but would he?

"Haruno-San, don't forget these." A voice called from behind her, causing goosebumps to raise over her body. She turned around with a small smile, seeing her forms in his extended hands, she reached to grab them, when a hand clasped around her wrist.

Every nerve on her body was set ablaze with fear as she looked up to see a pair of piercing green eyes staring down at her, face lacking any emotions that could drive such an aggressive action. "Be wary, Haruno-San. Fears can get you killed out on the field." He said, tone hard as he released her and left the room. Sakura felt the urge to draw gasping breaths but bit it back, crumpling her papers in a hurry to stuff them into her bag as she rushed from the ward. Silently praying that he was nowhere around her.

 _Our Little World_

Peeling the hand-written note of the door, Sakura sighed. She didn't expect her mother to be home, but she still didn't want to be alone right now. Naruto wasn't at his house when she stopped by either, so she was to be left alone with her thoughts once again.

Locking the door, Sakura crept over to the couch. Too distracted with her thoughts and anxieties to read or do much of anything except stare aimlessly out of the double glass sliding doors, watching the Konoha sun begin to set over the horizon. She removed herself and slid the curtains closed before returning to the couch, flipping onto her side as she tried to will the rest of the day away.

 _Our Little World_

A violent _bang!_ echoed through her home and instantly, she groggily threw herself off the couch, body crashing hard against the splintering wooden floors as she scrambled toward the kitchen, noisily slamming through her kitchen drawers until she found what he was looking for- a cleaver, holding the large blade before her chest defensively she scooted herself into the corner, back pressing hard against the cool wall.

She tried to zone in on the sound, she could hear a faint shuffling coming from the front of the house, then another hard bang, followed by three more.

Sakura dropped the knife with a heavy sigh- it was just someone at the door.

Angrily shuffling over to the door she pried it open, confusedly eyeing the two boys who stood before her with the same bewildered expression they shared with her.

"Uh, Sakura-Chan?" Naruto hummed, face flushed as he tugged at the collar of his shirt. She noticed Sasuke too was now avoiding eye contact with her. Confused, she looked down at herself before groaning and slamming the door.

Her dress had been bunched up high on one her her thighs, zipper tugged down her chest from sleep. She hurriedly ran to the bathroom, yelling at the boys to come in and wait for her. She could hear them awkwardly shuffling around her living room as she brushed her teeth and pulled her hair into a tight bun, straightening out her clothes and scuffling to the living room where Naruto sat spread out on her couch, and Sasuke stood by the door, looking frustrated as usual.

"So what's going on?" Sakura questioned the blonde.

"Kakashi-Sensei told us to get you! Your evaluation is done processing so we can start training!" Naruto cheered.

"Dobe." Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "He said we start next week, this is just for formalities." He corrected.

Sakura felt some of the weight in her chest drop off, and she smiled brightly. They'd done it. They were a real team now, real ninja.

"Shut up, teme!" Naruto snarled, turning to the pinkette, "Who cares about form-al-ities or whatever, we're ninja!" The blonde cheered once more, thrusting his fist in the air with pride glittering in his blue eyes.

"Yes we are." Sakura smiled, seeing even Sasuke break the tiniest curl of a lip at the optimistic blonde.

"Let's go." Sasuke said, sounding slightly less somber than usual, stuffing his hands in his pockets he turned to walk through the doorway, the enthusiastic blonde trailing behind. Bright rays of sun broke through the doorway, casting an ethereal glow over the pair, the two boys turned around to look at the awestruck girl, "Are you coming, Sakura-Chan?" Naruto questioned.

A small, sincere smile curled her lips as her heart seemed to swell. She had forgotten that she had such precious people.

"Hai." She said, turning to follow the boys.

When she was with them, everything seemed to melt away. It was like they were their own separate world.


	5. Mourn the Living

Chapter Five: Mourn the Living

The first day of their 'training' was pretty uneventful, the three genin pretty much just went over basic stretching exercises and were each given a light training regiment. It didn't really feel much different compared to the academy, in Sakura's opinion. The training regiment was basic, running laps every day, specific exercises to lengthen and strengthen the muscles in your legs and arms, so you could maneuver better at faster speeds. Naruto and Sasuke were clearly more than annoyed too- Naruto thought they would be learning new jutsu right off the bat and Sasuke thought he would get another one-on-one chance with Kakashi-Sensei.

Sakura couldn't say she really expected much, but it was certainly more than he had given them. However, knowing their sensei they wouldn't be doing much of anything for a while. Huffing, she plopped down beside the boys under the shade of a tall oak tree. Naruto was steadily pouting and spewing off insults and Sasuke simply proceeded to brood with a bit more malice than usual, while Kakashi peered down at the group of preteens in exasperation. The dull look in his eye showing more annoyance than usual.

"You're only genin, you don't need to be loaded up with S-Rank jutsu, Naruto." Kakashi sighed during Naruto's tangent. The silver haired man had yet to look up from his book since the day had started, Sakura couldn't help but wonder why he accepted the team at all if he didn't want to train them.

"But Kakashi-Sensei! How are we supposed to get strong if we don't know squat!" Naruto snarled from his seat, oceanic eyes fiery with the desire to learn. Sakura admired his tenacity, but she knew he was making the situation worse than it already was.

"It's only the first day, Naruto." Kakashi groaned, lowering his book to pinch the bridge of his nose, patience wearing unusually thin. He certainly didn't expect Minato's son to be an easy one to handle- he didn't expect the little hellion to be such a nuisance either.

"So what! We're ninja's now! We want to learn the stuff ninjas know!" The blonde said, scowling deeply as he crossing his arms and huffed. Sakura wanted to sigh at her friend's behavior, but she knew it would only worsen the situation, she didn't want to egg his tantrum on any more than Kakashi already had.

"You want to know what ninja's know?" Kakashi questioned, his voice a very different tone as he stuffed his little orange book into his thigh pouch and grabbed Naruto by the forearm. "Follow me." He said, turning to the other two teens are Naruto squirmed relentlessly in his grip.

Sasuke and Sakura shared a second of confused eye contact as they trailed behind their teammate and the older man ushering him. They were lead through a winding path that brought them behind the training grounds. Sakura was very sure where they were going now, and a bit of guilt rolled around in her stomach as they were soon face to face with a memorial stone. Sasuke's eyes went to the ground, she wasn't sure if it was out of respect or discomfort.

"These, are the real ninja of the village, Naruto." Kakashi said, releasing his grip on the squirming blonde as his blue eyes confusedly rolled over the large stone.

"Then my name will be here some day too, because I'm going to be the greatest ninja!" He proclaimed, jabbing a finger in the direction of the stone.

Sakura felt a pang of anxiety in her stomach as she watched Kakashi's expression become somber and icy. "Naruto, these are ninja who died in the line of duty." He said evenly. His fingers brushing tenderly along the smooth surface of the stone.

Naruto swallowed hard, Sakura could see the tips of his ears light up with embarrassment and guilt as his eyes flickered to the ground.

"This is what it means, to be a shinobi." Kakashi continued, more to himself than to the children before him. Sakura could sense something strange lying just beneath the surface of his words and for the first time, wondered what his past was like.

"Jutsu can wait. Take time to get your footing before you rush into the field like a fool." Were the last words the older man muttered before disappearing into the forest.

A moment of silence passed between the three teens, before Naruto let out a deep sigh. "I sounded pretty stupid there, huh, Sakura-Chan?" He muttered, cheeks red as he stared forward. Sakura grimaced and patted her friend on the shoulder.

"You didn't know, Naruto, it's not your fault." She said, trying to quell the miserable look in his blue eyes.

"Hn." Sasuke seemed to agree, not looking at his teammates, eyes now fixed on the stone. Sakura wondered if he was looking for members of his family.

With a small, sad smile, Sakura pointed to a small kanji near the bottom of the stone, "That one is for my dad, Naruto." She said.

Sasuke's eyes turned away, but Naruto knelt down, hands clasped together in prayer. "I'm sorry for not being respectful, Sakura's dad." He muttered, bowing deeply. Sakura smiled at the warm gesture, clapping a hand over his shoulder.

"Thank you, Naruto." She smiled.

"This one is my cousin, I think." Sasuke grunted, pointing to a higher name. The two were surprised by his contribution, but repeated the prayer for Sasuke's lost loved one too.

"I guess I should apologize to Kakashi-Sensei, huh?" The blonde muttered.

His taller teammates shrugged, "I don't think that's what he wanted." Sakura said, rubbing her chin in thought, "I think he was trying to make a point."

"Hn." Sasuke seemed to agree.

Looking down at the training regiment in her hand, she sighed, "It's still pretty early, do you guys want to train together?"

Sasuke snorted and proclaimed that he was going home, which both the blonde and the pinkette expected.

"I'm up for training." Naruto grinned. Sakura laughed and gave him a light-hearted punch on the shoulder, "But it's not a date!"

"Sakura-Chaaaaan!"

 _Our Little World_

Sakura sighed, kicking her sandals off at the door. Her legs were sore from training and her clothes were dampened with sweat. She pulled her hair from it's tight bun and made her way into her bedroom.

The room was almost foreign to her, as she usually slept on the couch when her mom wasn't home, she didn't spend a lot of time there. Peeling her clothes off, she left them to rest on the floor as she pulled a large T-shirt from her dresser drawers. She stopped to examine herself in the mirror.

A small, pink line rested across the curve of her hip where Sasuke's kunai had hit her, her dainty fingers traced the rough skin. She wondered how many scars would adorn her body after years of being a shinobi, she wondered if it would change her. Leaning forward, she examined herself. Her skin had always been pretty clear, small pores. Her figure was willowy, with long thin legs and a very thin frame. She doubted she would ever be curvy like Hinata or Ino, but she wondered if she would be womanly some day.

She silently wondered if she would become beautiful. Looking at her long, candyfloss locks she dragged a hand through it, knocking out tangles. Did she look like a ninja should look?

With a low groan she headed toward the shower, her thought process interrupted by the pain in her calves. It had been quite a while since she'd done laps. As she stepped under the stream of warm water a small sigh passed her lips, it felt nice on her aching muscles.

Her fingers idly traced her scar as she mindlessly pressed her forehead against the tiled wall, letting the sluggish feeling that's been hanging in her mind wash over her. She wandered back to her father, she wondered what he was like.

Her mom said he was infamous for bad jokes, that he had given her the pink hair she disliked so much sometimes and that he was a genjutsu type ninja. She'd only seen a handful of pictures of him, he seemed to have a permanent grin plastered on her face. It was odd. Her mother was shrill and serious, a very proper woman. How did she end up with someone as goofy as her dad?

She guessed she would never know, it wasn't something she'd ask her mom. She knew her mom didn't like talking about her father very much. Sakura could understand this, but she wondered how he died. Where was he going? Did he have a team? What were they like?

Shrugging a towel around her body she shut off the water and wrung out her hair. She wondered when her mother would come home, the house felt unusually empty recently.

Pulling her T-Shirt over her head she went to plop down on the couch with a sigh, eyes wandering to a stack of books she'd finished and needed to return.

She wandered around her house for the majority of the evening when she noticed a stack of envelopes had been gathering in the holster beneath the door slot. Most of them were bills and a handful were letters from her mom, just letting Sakura know that she was safe and would be returning soon, but when her fingers brushed over an official envelope from the Konoha Health Center her heart inadvertently skipped a beat.

The letter said that for her to continue her career she would have to attend counseling once a week for three months with an assigned counselor to assure that she was of regulation for duty. Her head spun as she read over the paperwork, annoyance and worry consuming her.

She was sure there were others who needed counseling far more than her.

"Kuso." She groaned. Curling down in a nest of blankets on her couch, her fingers massaging her forehead with frustration.

 _Our Little World_

"It's good to see you again, Haruno-San."


End file.
